Have you ever heard of "Dignity Therapy"?

A friend of mine that works in a wellness center for cancer patients asked me, "Have you ever heard of 'Dignity Therapy'?"

I could guess what that means, but nope.

"That's essentially what you're doing," she replied.

Well then, I think I'll read up on this subject! After all, who doesn't want to know what they're doing? Achieving a better understanding of our chosen life's work is a goal worth pursuing, I'd think. So I Googled.

I found numerous links, so I'll now summarize. 'Dignity Therapy' is a "psychotherapeutic intervention for patients near the end of life". In English, that means Dr. Harvey Chochinov came up with a process for people to share their life stories in order to gain a sense of closure for their lives.

The idea that this would go over well seemed to me a no-brainer, but "Journal of Clinical Oncology" performed a study to see if the process had any merit. Here are the results of the study:

Ninety-one percent of participants reported being satisfied with dignity therapy; 76% reported a heightened sense of dignity; 68% reported an increased sense of purpose; 67% reported a heightened sense of meaning; 47% reported an increased will to live; and 81% reported that it had been or would be of help to their family. Postintervention measures of suffering showed significant improvement (P = .023) and reduced depressive symptoms (P = .05). Finding dignity therapy helpful to their family correlated with life feeling more meaningful (r = 0.480; P = .000) and having a sense of purpose (r = 0.562; P = .000), accompanied by a lessened sense of suffering (r = 0.327; P = .001) and increased will to live (r = 0.387; P = .000).

Craziness! StoryKeeping unintentionally conducts 'Dignity Therapy'. Interesting.

The mission of StoryKeeping is to help people capture the highlights of their loved one's lives. This mission isn't limited to elderly or terminally ill people, however, when "life happens" family members get that extra kick in the rear and are motivated to do something about it. It takes a special person to prioritize something like a StoryKeeping session for a loved one that isn't in danger of losing their lives soon. What a demonstration of love! That said, there's the reality that most of us have an instinctive love for procrastination, and for those families blessed with those extra days, weeks, or even months to say "Goodbye" Dr. Chochinov has created 'Dignity Therapy'.

At this point StoryKeeping does not employ doctors or professional therapists. StoryKeeping does, however, possess a phenomenal love for people. As the Beatles sang, "All you need is love". When you approach someone with love in your heart, and a sincere curiosity for their lives, strangers become friends within minutes. Dale Carnegie has taught millions the secret to "...Winning Friends and Influencing People", and his philosophy is centered around the idea that people love to feel valued.

All this time I was thinking it was the families of those interviewed that were experiencing the benefits of retaining their loved one's life stories. I'm so inspired by the thought that StoryKeeping gives those interviewed a renewed sense of purpose!

"Have you ever heard of 'Dignity Therapy'?" Yes. I'm proud to say it is one of the things I do.

Living Life "to the Floorboard"

I did a StoryKeeping session last week featuring a friend of mine's grandparents. I'd never met them before, but had heard enough about their family through the years that I felt like I already knew them.

I was a shy kid growing up, and didn't get into much trouble. In fact, I believe I was only grounded once. Me, Tamra, and Amanda Rogers were going to the movies. I sat in the back of the Caprice while Tamra got out to put gas in the car. Amanda had heard about a party over at a friend's house, and somehow in that parking lot the plans changed from movie night to party night. I couldn't drive yet, so I was along for the ride regardless.

We drove on out to Justin Joseph's house. I sat in the back of a truck and drank a beer. It was the first taste of beer I'd had since I was a small child, when Dad gave me a sip to let me know how terrible it tasted, and I agreed I wouldn't want to touch the stuff anyway. Seemed harmless enough. After a few hours it was time to go back home, so when we walked through the door Dad asked us how the movie was. "Fine" was the answer to most questions in that era of our lives, so that was it. Well, at least we thought that was it.

About two weeks later we came home from school and Dad was at the dinner table.

"Where were you the night of [insert forgotten date here]?"

"I dunno."

I wasn't lying. I really didn't know what date he was talking about. This was before iPhone calendars or any real sense of responsibility had entered my life.

"Think about it, and you make sure you tell me the truth."

I really was thinking, but was drawing a blank. As it turns out, our neighbors Jason and Justin Aguilar were out at the party too, and had told their daddy that Tamra and I had come out that night. I guess everyone experienced some sort of surprise over the situation.

Tamra and I were grounded for two months.

Skip about fifteen years and I find myself sitting in the living room of Amanda's grandparents. Amanda's sister Liz sponsored a 3-hour StoryKeeping session to cover both of their lives. The idea was to create one CD for Glenn Rogers, one CD for Joyce Rogers, and one CD interviewing both of them sharing stories of their lives together. I knew it was going to be fun, and asked Joyce if she was ready about an hour before I came over. "I'm ready as I'll ever be!"

Three hours quickly turned to four as they shared their lives with me. I had a blast and I think they may have enjoyed themselves too.

When Glenn and Joyce were telling me about one of their first dates ever, they admitted that it didn't end until five in the morning. Yes, it was a New Year's party and they weren't able to leave 'til after midnight. Yes, it was snowing (in San Antonio, even!) Yes, Glenn had two other couples to drop off on the way home. And, finally, yes the windshield wipers weren't working so he had to drive really slowly with his head out the window the entire way 'cause he couldn't see through the ice. This mischievous couple had some great excuses, for sure, but I couldn't help but think of the late nights I've enjoyed partying with the Rogers family. Perhaps their tendency to celebrate is hereditary. Glenn and Joyce agreed. haha

Before Glenn and Joyce had any children they owned a Dodge Charger. For those unfamiliar, the Dodge Charger was a car that was ready to drag race right off the production line. Four hundred and forty cubic inches of displacement meant you were getting from point A to point B pretty quickly. Sometimes you'd end up at point C before you knew what'd happened.

"So you were a hot rod mama?"

"Yes, I enjoyed racing that car ... I'd put it to the floorboard."

I laughed aloud hearing those words come out of this sweet great-grandmother sitting before me. So unsuspecting, but as it turns out Joyce's has been a life full of "to the floorboard" moments.

As I climbed into my truck and drove off past all the Roger's homes, I laughed as I put it all together. Not only could I see my friend's faces in theirs, I also realized their zest for life branched from those same genetics.

My cheeks hurt from all the laughing, and I couldn't help but think that if I'd grown up a couple generations back, Glenn and Joyce probably would've gotten me grounded too.

Thank you Liz for making the StoryKeeping session possible, and thank you to the entire Roger's family for showing me how to put it "to the floorboard". Y'all have a beautiful and entertaining family.